You change your identity by choosing the story you tell yourself and then living it today. I call it Can vs Will vs Am. Can is your potential. Will is your commitment to a vision. Am is being that person right now, and daily practices keep the new story alive.
- Your story creates your actions, and your actions create your results.
- Can vs Will vs Am has three levels: potential, commitment and embodied being.
- You can choose a new identity at a moment's notice and start living its actions.
- Identity has a half life, so reinforce it every day with simple practices.
What is Can vs Will vs Am?
Can vs Will vs Am is my distinction for the three levels of becoming someone new. Can is potential, will is commitment to a vision, and am is embodied being, where you are the person who is doing it right now.
It came out of creating my three year vivid vision. I kept asking how I was going to be the person who makes that vision happen 1,096 days from now. It always felt so far away, and I could feel the disconnect in my energy, my emotion and my commitment. Then I realized it was all about my state of being.
| Level | What it sounds like |
|---|---|
| Can | Potential. "I can do that thing." Many people live here, in the land of maybe. |
| Will | Vision and commitment. "I know I can do it, I want to do it and I am going to do this." |
| Am | Embodied being. "I am being that person now" through the micro actions you take every day. |
Am I being the person who is doing it?
Why does changing your identity change your results?
Your identity is your beliefs, your values, your strengths and your experiences. It is also the story you tell yourself every single day. That story drives what you do, and what you do drives what you get.
The story you tell yourself will create your actions. And your actions will create your results.
Rob Cressy
When I helped people launch a podcast, I asked them on the very first call to take on the identity of a podcaster and feel into "I am a podcaster." A podcaster hits record every week and shares something with the world. Many people believe they need to do a thing for a long time before they can claim it. You can choose at a moment's notice to say "I am this now" and live those actions. I go deeper on this in how to create a powerful personal identity.
What is Autopilot vs Default?
Autopilot vs Default is my name for the two ways an identity runs. Autopilot is a conscious and intentional choice to create yourself into the best version of yourself. Default is an unconscious and unintentional choice, the status quo. Both happen without thinking, and both are easy.
- Autopilot You designed it, so you love taking action. The weight feels like floating on a cloud, and the more it runs, the better your results get.
- Default Action feels like a have to or a need to, and often it is a non-action. The weight can feel like an anvil on your chest.
Changing your identity means designing your autopilot on purpose.
How do you change your identity step by step?
- Start at the end. Ask what results you would love to create in your life.
- Name the actions. List the actions the person who creates those results would take.
- Write the story. Decide what story that person tells themselves every day. Begin with three to five things you know to be true about your best self and write them as "I am" declarations.
- Choose it now. Say "I am this now," then share it with the world. I had new podcasters post it on social media right away.
- Collect the evidence. One of my declarations is "I am abundantly generous." Every time I leave a tip, I speak it. Each action becomes proof of who you are.
- Create a process for consistency. This is the most important part. A new identity needs a daily practice behind it.
How do you make a new identity stick?
Identity has a half life. You start the day feeling amazing, then three o'clock arrives and your energy is different. So you boot it back up every single day, often as part of a morning routine you love. These are four of the consistency practices I use.
- Compliment file Write down every compliment you receive. Read one to three each morning as a reminder of who you are.
- Declarations Speak, see and feel a list of powerful "I am" statements. Declaring carries more emotion than affirming.
- Personal manifesto Print the words, phrases and mantras you live by and hang them where you see them daily. I framed mine as a poster for my bathroom.
- Triggers Turn an everyday object into a reminder. While my water bottle fills, I say "I am that I believe."
Community does the same work on your tough days. The people around you remind you who you are when you forget.
How can AI help you become who you are becoming?
Stay human first. Give AI the context of who you are and who you are becoming, including your declarations and your vision, so its help fits you. Let it draft and keep the judgment yours. I walk through this in how to use AI to become your future self.
Do this today
- Run the audit. Write the results you want, the actions that person takes, and the story they tell themselves every day.
- Declare one identity. Finish the sentence "I am" with who you are becoming, say it out loud, and take one action that proves it.
Listen to the episode
Can vs Will vs Am
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Read the full transcript
I want to introduce you to a powerful concept that's all built around can vs will vs am. Because Built For The Game is about being your best, doing what you love, and showing up powerfully. In a world where you have endless options for what you can create and do, how in the world do you decide, and what is the process you have for making it happen? The answer lies in reverse engineering how to be your best self, creating your vision, and fulfilling your potential.
So let's break this down. And once again, we're going to go back to can vs will vs am. So can you do something? So can you launch a podcast? Can you write a book? Can you speak from stage? Can you run a marathon? Yes. Can is all about potential. And so many people in the world live in the world of can. Oh, I can do that thing? No problem. But guess what? They don't actually do it. They just live in the land of maybe and never end up doing anything about that.
The next phase is all around will. And will is all around vision. Will you launch a podcast, speak from stage, or run a marathon? And this is where your commitment comes into it where you say, you know what? Yeah, I know I can do it. I want to do it and I am going to do this. And this is something that I know from experience in so many different ways. And through your own excavating and breaking through the next level of who you are, you've got this vision of these things that you want to do.
And I see it so often with the people that I'm working with as well as myself. And speaking on stage for the first time or doing my first time as an emcee at a marketing conference. And you're like, man, I know I can do this, but will I do it? Boom! This is where the commitment to the vision comes in. But here's where the secret sauce is. And this is the next level. And this is all around am. This is embodied being.
Am I being the person who is doing it? So we're not just living in our vision. We are being our vision. And one of the biggest things that I've learned in the last few months on creating my three-year vivid vision was all around being the person who is living that vision right now.
Because as I was asking myself, I was like, Rob, how in the world are you going to be the person that makes this vision happen 1,096 days from now? It always felt so far away. There was a disconnect in my energy and my emotion and my commitment because of how far away it was. And then I realized something. It was all around my state of being.
And your state of being is about, among other things, the story that you tell yourself every single day. Who you are, your identity, how you create yourself. Because the story you tell yourself will create your actions. And your actions will create your results. So if we reverse engineer this on can, will, am, when you come from the place of am, your state of being, now you're the embodiment of it.
You are living in the vision of who you are. So you are doing it. And you're creating your vision. And you're fulfilling your potential by being it now. And so often on our growth journeys of creating anything that we want in our life, it's going to be a series of micro actions and micro steps every single day that'll get us to the top of the proverbial mountain.
But one of the things that I've learned the hard way on my entrepreneurial journey over the last decade plus is that the dream isn't getting to the top of the proverbial mountain and planting the flag. The dream is the appreciation for the journey. And the majority of the world isn't even going to start their journey. They're going to live in the world of can. Then there's going to be the people who set the vision and say, this is what I want to do and I'm going to do it.
But there's going to be select few in the world who will take on that state of being and say, I am being that person now by taking those micro actions to make my vision happen. And when you live from the world of am instead of the world of can, your world will change and you will create everything you want in your life.
Transcript cleaned up for reading.