How to Give Feedback as a Leader, and How to Ask for It

0:01Welcome to Leadership DNA, a podcast for those who aspire to be a better leader. Alongside Arturo Gomez, I'm Rob Cressy. Today's topic, strategies for giving constructive feedback. And Arturo, constructive feedback is critical for every team. The process and the organization of it allows us to get better in the name of growth. So I'm curious, how do you think about giving feedback so that it is done effectively?

0:31Well, I mean for me there's a couple really, you know, critical points. I think you have to give it often and in a timely manner. And what I mean by that is there's too many people that I've coached or that I know that, you know, will see something whether it requires positive reinforcement or constructive reinforcement. And they'll wait. I'll sit down with them at some point this week and I'm going to put it on my list.

1:00And I'm going to, I'll bring it up to them when I sit down with them. Well, if you have an opportunity to let somebody know very quickly, I think you have to do that. It's like you're in the moment, you're in the instance. Because I think what, you know, understanding that feedback is a really critical part of coaching and really critical part of mentoring and leading people that it has to be. That, that speed really creates an understanding.

1:29Understanding, you know, okay, so I just did this and now I'm getting quick feedback from my leader in terms of what the outcome was on that or, or how I performed, you know, those actions or whatever. And so I think, you know, too many people wait and I don't, I really don't subscribe to that. I think that, you know, I think that you have to have some professionalism and an understanding of what these, what these opportunities look like to trans, to, you know, to translate this feedback. You know, if it's something that you feel needs to be constructive, you know, yeah, maybe you should find a moment where you can have a one-on-one conversation with that, with that individual so that you're not embarrassing anybody or you're not bringing, you know, airing out, you know, something that really should just be between you and that person.

2:18I think, um, have a focused goal on what this feedback is going to derive. I mean, what is, what is, what is your goal from getting, giving this person feedback? Is it, is it to reinforce their behavior? Is it to correct behavior? I think all the feedback that you're giving, I think really truly should be aligned with the mission.

2:42Uh, you know, I think it's, if, if you can give guidance and feedback to an individual that is coinciding with what the team goals are, what the goals and mission of the company are, I think you're in a really great spot because I think that, you know, I think that ultimately that's, that's what it's about. And, and, or, and, or if this is personal feedback to somebody outside of the space of corporate, again, it's, you know, what is, what is the goal?

3:10And what do you think the goals and objectives of this individual are in terms of the feedback that you're sending them and the feedback that they're receiving? I think it's important to understand, you know, that there's two forms of feedback in my, in my mind. And so, um, one is what we would call positive. I think all feedback needs to be like in the past, people used to refer as like positive and negative feedback. Like I'm never going to give you negative feedback. I'm going to give you constructive feedback.

3:38I'm not going to, this is my feedback is not intended to hurt you or to, you know, create some type of animosity in the situation. It's merely a professional way of letting you know you are doing a fantastic job or the things that you're doing are going to require some improvement in some way, shape or form. And so understanding there's two forms of feedback is really important. And I think that both of those forms of feedback still require the timeliness and the speed that I talked about in the first point.

4:07So if you see somebody that's doing something that's great, and this is the, this is the thing that we always tend to forget. It's like, oh, they're just doing their job. Okay, well, why not tell somebody they're doing a great job when they're doing a great job? So somebody does something it to me, it's like when you when you talk about human behavior, the opportunity with human behavior, I think it's, it's like Pavlov.

4:29It's like, you know, the dog comes over, you give it a treat and forms up, you know, sits down or whatever you you want to continue to reinforce good behavior. And so how do you do that? You let people know, hey, what you just did, that was fantastic. And the other thing is, don't be shy, don't be scared. True leaders give people reality, they give them honesty. So when you're going to give them feedback, if it is constructive, you're trying to make them better. You're trying to make the team more efficient.

4:55You're trying to make, you know, allow for the organization to achieve its goals. And so if you're, if you're not translating that information to people in a timely and often manner, I think you're, you're selling yourself short. The other thing is, you know, delivery is really also very important. You know, how you deliver the message to that individual is going to be the difference of whether or not they believe you, they're thankful, or there's some animosity there. So I think it's, it really needs to be thoughtful. I think you need to understand the individual because the person that you're speaking to is different. Sally is different than Jimmy and Susie and everybody has their needs, their emotional needs and their wants and their desires.

5:46And everybody is spoken to or should be spoken to really in a different manner. And so how you deliver the message, when you deliver the message is a very critical piece, I think, of feedback. And so, you know, to me, those are, those, you know, it's insanely critical to make sure that this is, this is information that's flowing.

6:10It's flowing constantly because I think that in the real world, there's opportunity to give feedback, you know, frequent, frequently throughout whatever it is that we're doing. So. I love what you said, because what I hear is there's levels to this game. And as a leader, feedback is a superpower, both in our ability to give it, as well as our ability to receive it and having that hunger for it. And I think to one of my core values is candor, meaning I will speak to you the same way that I want you to speak to me. And it's something that we live in a, at times, superficial world where people are putting on a specific facade.

7:00But one of the things of why people work to me is because I'm going to be that voice for them that they can trust. Because we don't have very many people around us who will actually tell us as it is. Where are our blind spots? Where are there opportunities for us to improve? Because like you said, Arturo, this is all in the name of growth. And we as leaders showing up every day as the best version of ourselves. We're not romantic about this stuff. We want to grow.

7:26And if we've got a blind spot or if I have something in my teeth, I definitely want to know about it. And I know that when I'm a part of someone's community or coaching or I'm doing something with them, I'm also on the giving end as someone who's a creator and a coach. I both receive coaching and I give coaching at the same time. So I know the thing that will help the leader the absolute most is for me to give the candid feedback.

7:54And this doesn't mean that I'm going out there trying to find holes in the game. It's more of the, if I see something, I'm going to say something. And 99 out of 100 times that leader is like, thank you so very much. Because here's what I know to be true. There is a silent majority in a vocal minority. And this is true for so many things in life from content creation all the way to giving feedback to others.

8:20And as leaders, we want to know how we can improve. And I love the timing of this conversation because just yesterday, Arturo, I was on the receiving end of this. I have a client who is also a friend who is also a coach that I just helped launch this podcast. And his podcast went live on Monday, which was three days ago.

8:47And in the process of this, he had a phenomenal experience going through all this. We were able to get his podcast launched in 30 days or less. And we were talking about his experience and how easy and how much he was shining and so many good things. But he's a coach and he's like, hey, Rob, are you open to some constructive feedback? And I was like, 100%, what do you have? And he's like, you know what, Rob?

9:13Rob, even though everything went great, in the last week, I felt like there was more of an opportunity for you to over deliver and really hammer me home across the finish line with my podcast. And I sat there and in my head, I actually by design had put structures in place to make sure that I helped them cross the finish line so that I over delivered.

9:40So not only did we have a coaching session on Wednesday, but on Friday when he's uploading stuff, I'm checking in and then I'm doing a post for him when the podcast is live. And from my perspective, I was like, man, I went above and beyond and over delivered. And then here he was telling me, Rob, there is actually more power accessible to you. I would have loved for you to be doing even more there.

10:02And I sat there and I was like, thank you so very much for that gift because it elevated who I am as a coach and a creator and as a leader to say, you know what my standard for over delivering is maybe different than what my clients are seeing. And he's the only one who has ever said this of all of the people I've ever worked with.

10:25So now everybody moving forward gets the blessing of what he told me to where I'm now going to be designing double the amount of accountability and support in the final week of launching a podcast because I know that's what he wanted. And hearing this conversation that we're having today, I then shared this with another one of my coaches that we co-create together every week. And I was like, listen to this feedback that I got.

10:53Think about how you can design this over delivery even more than you think about. And he was like, Rob, thank you very much for telling me this because we don't know what we don't know. But when we hear it from a client or a coach or a friend, it hits home in the best way possible. I mean, we, you know, we had a podcast where we talked about, you know, the, you know, feedback, you know, having that feedback loop open.

11:19And it's really difficult when you're, you know, quote unquote, sitting at the top of the food chain and you have to try to understand how you're performing. And it's not it's not that often that you're getting feedback. And we've talked about in the past where you know, sometimes you have to go out and seek it. Sometimes you have to really ask how you're performing because it's not that often that people manage up.

11:48It's not that often that people across like the client, you know, spectrum are going to give, you know, feedback. But, you know, it happens and it's a blessing because, you know, sometimes it brings a reality to where things can. It always I think is, you know, my understanding and the way that I interpret it is it's always an opportunity to get better. It always is an opportunity. There's always some reality. There's always some truth attached to it.

12:16You know, I've gotten feedback in the past that maybe I didn't think was entirely accurate, but there was some truths in it. But, you know, yesterday, you know, we're talking about specific examples. I mean, yesterday was a really interesting day because I had three different people that I was that I was in, you know, deep dialogue with. One is, you know, somebody who I think is is really overperforming.

12:43I mean, he's he's, you know, a current manager within within the organization. I gave him, you know, a gift card that that I thought was really meaningful to a restaurant, a favorite one of my favorite restaurants. And I just let him know he wasn't expecting anything. I just let him know. I said, hey, you know, I truly appreciate the hard work that you're doing and what you do for the organization. And it meant so much to him.

13:08And it was, you know, it was a frankly, it was a, you know, small kind of, you know, just token of appreciation. The other conversation I had was with another person that that I think, you know, frankly, had had had failed us, had had exposed some weaknesses in the organization that, you know, at the end of the day, it's really it's my fault at the end of the day.

13:31But, you know, the hope is that, you know, we've had multiple conversations about the specific thing and and it wasn't being done. It wasn't being done. And because it wasn't being done, there was some exposure. And so a hard conversation to to have maybe from from their vantage point to me, it was just like, listen, I want to I want to just I want to let you understand that what occurred is in the past. I don't I'm not going to dwell on it.

14:00What I care about is how we progress and how we how we move forward and how we protect ourselves into the future. And then and then the third conversation was, you know, with really with, you know, top top lieutenant who is committed to really, you know, becoming a better leader and wanting more responsibility and really wanting to grow with the organization.

14:21And, you know, I had to have, you know, a frank conversation with with with with with this person about what I think their biggest exposure on it within their personality is. And just telling him that if you can cross this hurdle, if you can improve in this one specific area, it's going to open up a lot of opportunities for you. And so, you know, this stuff happens on a daily basis.

14:50But, you know, the timeliness or the, you know, the concept, the idea that you and I are talking about it today reminded me that there was a couple instances yesterday. And it's it's really important. My my hope is that each one of those individual conversations that the individuals that that that I was in communication with are going to be better for the organization and better for themselves.

15:15And, you know, just a better overall, well-rounded person within the system. And and also, hopefully, it affects them on a personal level that they really understand that what I'm telling them is is about the company is about the team. But it's also about just making sure that they understand how to how to get better. And I love this is why this is called leadership DNA, because Arturo, when I'm listening to what you're saying, I love the candor and specificity of how you are talking to them and what they are saying.

15:49Because when you've built a culture where feedback is part of how we all grow, they all have opportunities to make themselves significantly better, even irregardless of where they are on this food chain of management and where they are within the team. And when you've built the a culture by design where this can be a part of it, this is where the exponential growth happens. So Arturo, now time for our action item or our takeaway.

16:19And for me, this is about ways that you can give feedback. And there's a technique I learned called the sandwich technique, because oftentimes, depending on who we're talking to, if we're going to be giving constructive criticism or constructive feedback, I'm sorry, not criticism, constructive feedback. Oftentimes, one of the things that you want to do is or that you can do is the sandwich technique. You start by praising them something good that they've done.

16:48Then you layer in, hey, here's where the constructive feedback comes in. And then you leave them with something positive. So Arturo, even what I'm hearing from you, boom, you're doing an amazing job. Listen, here's one opportunity for something that you can do. It may be a hole in the bone. We're not using this exact language. But listen, you get this thing corrected and going in the right direction. Your home run is going to be taking things to the right way.

17:14And I so very often think and operate in systems and processes. So having a system and process for how you can give feedback. And of course, I don't use this all the time. This is just one of the tools in my tool belt. But I would encourage people, give someone positive feedback today. And this can be about anything. Because I can promise you when you do, it is going to make their day better. Arturo, what about you? What's your action item or takeaway?

17:41I think the takeaway, what I want people to understand is there really is two forms of feedback. And don't let things that seem very positive or that is, hey, this person is doing their job kind of thing. Don't let that go unnoticed. Don't allow them to walk away without getting some feedback from you. And again, the idea of having constructive feedback, it's never really – the intent is not to make people feel bad. The intent is to make them really to feel better. And I think that you also should do another – do an audit to find out are you really giving people feedback in a timely manner?

18:26Or are you that person that you're walking away from a situation that you just noticed or that you saw and you're making a note? You're making a note and you know what? I'm going to catch up with that individual when I catch up with them. We have a weekly meeting and it's – the next time I'm going to meet with them is next Wednesday. So I'll talk to them next Wednesday. If you really want real-time production and real-time improvement and you want that person to get better, those conversations can be reinforced in a weekly meeting.

18:56But you're going to get a lot more productivity from an outcome if you actually do real-time feedback with them. So I think those are the important pieces. And it's like, again, I think one of the visuals or one of the things that I've always tried to allow people to understand is this is about pushing that person to get better. It's about pushing the organization.

19:22And one of those visuals has always been – I tell people, I said, if you're going to be hard on somebody, if you're going to push somebody, essentially you're pushing them down. It's fine to be hard. It's fine to be tough. But you have to be there with a hand extended to pick them up. You have to. You can't just be one or the other.

19:44You have to be the counterbalance, your own counterbalance to how you communicate with people and how you give them feedback and improve their performance. Yeah, absolutely love that. And one of the reasons why we do this is because we want to help you be a better leader. It's why we created a LinkedIn page for Leadership DNA. And the next level of this is building relationships together. If you get down like we get down, we would love for you to connect with us.

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0:02Welcome to Leadership DNA, a podcast for those who aspire to be a better leader. Alongside Arturo Gomez, I'm Rob Cressy. Today's topic, the value of seeking feedback as a leader. Arturo, feedback can oftentimes be very challenging to hear, but it is certainly a pathway to growth. Let's talk about how feedback is a powerful tool in leadership. I mean, I think it's, for me, it revolves around, you know, evolution. And, you know, if us as leaders or those people that are aspiring to be leaders think that there's not an opportunity to grow or to evolve, I think your mindset is completely off.

0:45And so, there's so much truth and transparency that comes from being open to feedback. And then there's a whole nother level that I think comes from actively seeking it. And I think that that's a real problem amongst, like, high-level leaders that, you know, it's just, it's never on the list. It's never like, you're never curious as to the perception and the feelings that people are getting with the way that you're managing them or, you know, you're never curious as to the perception and the feelings that people are getting with the way that you're managing them.

1:15The energies that you're bringing. And so, I think it's, I think it's a tremendous exercise. I mean, so a couple years, a couple years ago, it's probably now five years ago, it was, again, you know, kind of a former life, different position that I was in. You know, we had about close to 1,000 employees in the company and it was, there was just so many personalities, so many people, about 90 of those individuals, maybe closer to 100 were salary teammates and the rest were hourly teammates.

1:48And every year I would have my executive assistant deploy a 360, you know, feedback, basically like an inquiry, like some questions that would be deployed out to the salary team. And it was an anonymous feedback and it was very specific about me. And so, you know, I'll tell you what, there was some years that I think in the earlier years that, you know, some of the feedback was hard to digest.

2:16And, but at the end of the day, it was very accurate. It just, you know, I wasn't seeing myself doing these specific things and I wasn't realizing that that's how, you know, some of my team members viewed me. And so it was really powerful because I still remember those things very clearly. And I think it's, it's impacted the way that I manage and behave and act today. And so it's critical.

2:46I think it's a, I think it's a critical thing, you know, for leaders at all, at all levels. I mean, I think again, it gets, it gets a little bit more difficult or it's something that's less important as we continue to evolve. And we've been doing this for a long time. And, but, you know, I don't ever think that there's a day where you shouldn't be open to somebody giving you or providing you some feedback. And it's, you know, as long as it's, you know, feedback that's delivered in an honest way, you shouldn't be hurt by it.

3:14Take it in, absorb it, analyze it, see if, you know, you think it's accurate, maybe touch base with somebody that knows you really well. And, and then most importantly, correct it. If it's something that needs to be corrected. Yeah, because as leaders, if there's a hole in our boat, we want to know about the hole in the boat, even if it is challenging or it stings a little bit, because ultimately it will help us grow. And as you said, it helped us evolve and be a better leader.

3:43And what I hear from you, Arturo, in this, which I think is very important is what is your system or process for getting feedback from your team or about yourself? And for me having a marketing background and a very digital background and having virtual teams. So much of this, I'm very systematic in how I think because systems scale.

4:12So I know the importance of feedback, both for myself as a leader, as well as for my customers, as well as when I'm working with people individually. And one of the things that I'll ask on either a weekly or monthly basis is what can I do better? What's taking the most time on your end? Is there anything that you don't like? And I'm very proactive in the way that I solicit feedback for my team.

4:38Some of it is on making their life and job better. Some of that's about efficiency. And then I think about on the client side of things and what we can do at the end of an engagement or even during it. I know on the coaching side of things. And so often we think of feedback as negative. What am I not doing good? But as leaders, we can almost be equally uncomfortable in receiving positive feedback because we can be seen at the top of the food chain and no one else needs to toot our own horn because we create this own sort of self-creation of ourselves that I don't need this feedback. It does help to get positive feedback from others. And this is something that I actually just experienced over the weekend. So I saw a post on Facebook that I really liked, so I decided to implement it for myself. And here's what it said, Arturo.

5:33Arturo, ask people what they think you are good at. The answers will surprise you very much. So what am I good at? And then I shared that on my Facebook page. And there was 20 plus comments from other people sharing what they thought I am good at. And what I took from this wasn't about tooting my own horn because as leaders, it can be very uncomfortable to receive compliments.

5:59But what this did was help me see my strengths that come very natural to me that allow me to heighten them in a way to serve more people. And this is something that I'm sharing because it had such a positive impact on me. So then I started journaling about this. And now I'm starting to think about my processes for how I can amplify these things that people see that I'm very good at that maybe it's just normal for me, but maybe I should make that a 10 out of 10 instead of an 8 out of 10. I'm curious from your perspective, Arturo, on the positive side of feedback as a leader. Yeah. I mean, I think when you get it, again, it's one of those things that on a daily basis, I don't expect it.

6:52I don't expect to be applauded or put on this pedestal. For anybody, honestly, I don't wake up going to engage in the day thinking that today I'm going to receive a compliment about the things that I'm doing. I just go and I do them, right? You know, again, it's flattering. It's very flattering. And, you know, I, like yourself, I'm one of those people that it's hard to digest those things.

7:19I don't really – I get embarrassed and I don't love it. It's great to have. I mean, that's more so why I think I've – in the times where I've actually been looking for feedback, I really enjoy the anonymous side because I don't – even when there was in these feedback, these 360s that I would push out, there was always, you know, 360s that came back that were extraordinary. And there were people that, you know, had – gave me A++.

7:48And, you know, there was a couple of people that gave me C-, right? But, you know, the A++ stuff was great to hear. I felt there was a little bit more connection with me than knowing exactly who it was from. It was just – it was anonymous and I took it for what it was. And the same thing with the feedback that was more constructed, you know, where you had to correct action, right?

8:11But, yeah, I think it's – listen, we all want to be – we all want to feel good. And we all want to get those compost – you know, the acknowledgements. And I think, you know, we talk about how important it is to give acknowledgements to our team. And it's not that often that, you know, people that are sitting at the top get that. And it's okay. You know, you have to be okay not getting it.

8:36But I think there are constructive ways, whether it's on a yearly basis or a bi-yearly basis, to be able to go out and get that. And I think it's less about, hey, I'm seeking those gold stars and those feel-good moments. Go get some honesty. Go get some transparency. Go get some real talk from your team and see if you're on path. Because if you're really a committed leader, then you're committed to making sure that you're the best version of yourself all the time and that you're continuing to evolve.

9:05And that's not going to happen unless you get feedback. I get a tremendous amount of feedback from my wife on a daily basis, you know. And it's, hey, it's good. It's honest, you know. And I think it's real. And, you know, it brings attention to certain things that I'm doing well and certain things that need to be corrected. And so I think as a leader, it's really important. I'll add one other element to this in terms of feedback from your customers.

9:34And for many of us, we have unique business models to where there might be one customer and their testimony or their experience with us can certainly help inspire others to work with us. And this is something that I've built in naturally to what I do and what I do on the coaching side of things is I oftentimes bring my clients on a podcast.

9:59And we will talk about their experience, what they were facing, any light bulb moments that they had, any results. And it's less for me and more for the other people who were where they are at the beginning of their journey. And now they've seen this transformation. And Arturo, one of the things that I've learned and done a lot of internal work on on the coaching side of things around compliments is, as we've said, a lot of people don't feel very good when they receive compliments. But that's actually a very contrarian way to think about them that now when I receive a compliment, I actually have a compliment file that I document.

10:47So anytime someone gives me a compliment, I'm a very gracious receiver. I take it and I say, Arturo, thank you so very much for that. It's received on my end and it means the world to me. And then I go and I put it in my compliment file and every single day as part of my boot sequence in the morning. We just did a podcast about the importance of self-care. Well, part of this is having a daily drip of positivity and confidence in myself.

11:14And I go and I read one to three of the compliments that someone gave me. And it allows me to have the compliment live into perpetuity, which is actually the greatest gift that I can give somebody else. Because Arturo, when I see something genuinely amazing in you and I recognize that in you and share that within you, the best thing that I can receive is actually you being a gracious receiver.

11:40So now imagine making that part of your self-creation process. And this is something that has been a game changer for me. And this is less about needing other people to toot my horn. And it's more about being a better receiver of these gifts and living in those moments over and over again. And inevitably, once a year or so, I'll take a screenshot of that and send it to that person being like, oh, by the way, that compliment that you gave me last year, I've been self-creating with it all year. It absolutely floors them. They feel the love. It deepens our relationship. And this is just sort of my way of self-creating with feedback in a way that becomes a win-win for both of us. Yeah. No, I love that. I think it's great. It's good to, you know, especially when you, there may be times where you actually need it.

12:34You need to, you know, understand the perception and the things that, you know, people have said that you're really good at, you know. And I think it's also, you know, making sure that you're committed to staying really good at those things, you know. And, you know, if there's an attempt or an approach to actually grow, it's, if there's five things I'm really good at, how do we add the six? Where does the seventh come in?

13:01And, and I think it's, I think it's great to be able to dive back and have that acknowledgement. That's a, that's a great idea. Yeah, because there are inevitable storms and challenges and self-limiting beliefs for all of us. So once again, having a system or process for what you can do to anchor into the positive truth of who you are is an absolute game changer. So Arturo, let's get to the action item and takeaway. And for me, I've got two.

13:28Number one, audit your systems and processes for receiving feedback as a leader. And Arturo, I loved what you said about the 360 feedback you receive. On my end, it's the feedback that I get from my clients or my team members and having a structured cadence around this. And then number two for me is create a compliment file. It's a very simple thing. So I use mine in Evernote. So it's on my phone.

13:55So when someone gives me a compliment after we're done being in the conversation, I'll write it down as part of my boot sequence. I open it up once a morning. Boom. Boom. Don't overthink this. Just be more in tune because it'll allow you to be a more gracious receiver of compliments. And I can tell you, when you create the state of being where you are great at receiving compliments, a crazy thing will happen. You'll start receiving more of them. But more importantly, you know the impact that it has on you.

14:25So you will give more of them. And when you do that, you're going to spread a lot more love, a lot more positivity, and more good things will come for you. Arturo, what's your action item or takeaway? You know, I think we're just past the six-month mark in the year and, you know, approaching the back half. I think, you know, if somebody's really interested in gaining some feedback, you know, looking into this opportunity of a 360, it could be, you know, five questions. It could be 10 questions.

14:55It doesn't really matter. I think, you know, finding an anonymous opportunity to do it is the only way to really implement it because it's, you know, people aren't going to give you really honest feedback if they, if these are people that you're managing and they don't think that it's anonymous. So, you know, find a way to deploy that. And, you know, the way that I did in the past is I had my executive assistant manage the entire process. But, or ask the questions.

15:24Ask, you know, find one or two people that you think can give you some honesty. And I think it's a critical part of evolving. And here's actually a quick little tip. You could go ahead and jump on ChatGPT and say, I'm creating a 360 feedback. What are five to 10 questions that I could ask myself to my team that can do this? Or there's a myriad of ways to do it, but ChatGPT is a very simple way for you to do it. Don't overthink it. Get version 1.0.

15:52Ask some other leaders what questions they use and implement this. And we would love to hear from you. What is your system or process that you use to capture feedback as a leader? Arturo's got his 360. I've got my compliment file. I've got testimonials. We would love to hear from you.

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