You use the obstacle is the way by treating the thing that stands in your way as your path forward. I use this idea from Ryan Holiday's book The Obstacle Is the Way, and I run it through my Know, Believe, Live audit: know it, believe it, then live it by practicing on small obstacles.
- The obstacle is the way means what stands in the way becomes the way.
- Know, Believe, Live is my audit for whether you are living the idea.
- Audit what is stopping you, then turn each item into an opportunity for growth.
- Practice on small obstacles now. Prepare for what's difficult when it's easy.
What does the obstacle is the way mean?
The passage reads, "The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." It comes from Stoic philosophy, and I first learned it in Ryan Holiday's book The Obstacle Is the Way. I carry that phrase around on a necklace.
Two lines from the book shape how I use it. Focus on the moment and leave alone the monsters that may or may not lie ahead. Then find a way over, under, through or around the thing in front of you. When you spin the obstacle on its head, you get on a new frequency. You may still be searching for the answer, and your mind is now working on how to overcome it.
How do I live the obstacle is the way?
My light bulb moment came when I left my corporate job in digital advertising sales to go after my dream of being a creator. I went to zero. Then I looked at why so many entrepreneurs and small businesses fail, and the number one reason stood out to me. They gave up.
So I saw my dreams on the other side of me being someone who never quits in the face of adversity. I became someone who specialized in overcoming adversity, and I started designing challenges for myself. In entrepreneurship you sign up for nonstop obstacles, adversity and challenges. I go deeper on that in how to overcome adversity.
What is Know, Believe, Live?
Know, Believe, Live is the framework I use to audit myself on any idea. It asks three questions: what do I know to be true, what do I believe to be true, and what am I living? An idea like this one is easy to hear from others and much harder to live on your own.
| Level | The question | With this idea |
|---|---|---|
| Know | What do I know to be true? | You have heard the phrase and you understand it. |
| Believe | What do I believe to be true? | You see adversity as something that happens for you. |
| Live | What am I living? | You meet the next obstacle and create with it. |
Why does an obstacle make you stronger?
I talked this through with Eliot Marshall, a former UFC fighter who has the passage tattooed on his arm. He found the book during a great struggle in 2016, after his UFC career had ended. His view is that once you truly embrace the concept, you can no longer be a victim. In his words, "Everything happens for me."
- Your worst day Eliot asks what you have never failed at. You have made it through every one of your worst days, so you are already good at overcoming hard things.
- Go first In the movie 8 Mile, Eminem wins the final rap battle by rapping about everything his opponent planned to use against him. He stepped right into the obstacle.
Nick Saban has a quote I love: "never waste a failure." Whatever happens, you can pick yourself back up and learn from it, which is also how you move past a fear of failure.
How do you use the obstacle is the way step by step?
- Audit what is stopping you. Write down the things standing between you and your next level right now.
- Turn each one into an opportunity. Look at the list and ask, "How can I turn those into opportunities for growth?"
- Get new inputs. When the answer is unclear, talk to somebody, ask someone or read something. A new perspective opens a way over, under, through or around.
- Catch the small resistance. A listener once emailed me about coaching, the call times were a challenge, and six days went by without a booking. For many people the journey ends right there. Decide that the first roadblock is your first lesson.
- Practice on small obstacles. Eliot calls these micro fabricated obstacles. Put one in front of you, conquer it at a pace you can handle, then slowly make them harder.
You turn adversity into opportunities, and that is the opportunity for you right here.
Rob Cressy
How do you prepare for obstacles before they arrive?
Prepare for what's difficult when it's easy.
That line is one of my favorite mantras, and Eliot made the same point. Reading the book is the start, and the idea only holds up under pressure when you have practiced it. Each small obstacle you overcome becomes proof you can recall when a real one arrives.
That is exactly why I did Andy Frisella's 75 Hard. When you design challenges and adversity into your life, you become mentally tough. I also use a phrase I learned from Ed Mylett called shrinking your dispersion. You shrink the amount of time a negative thing sits with you. A setback that could keep someone in a loop for weeks can shrink to a few hours, or even a few minutes, because you have a process for overcoming it.
Do this today
- Run the audit. List three things that are stopping you right now and write one way each could become an opportunity for growth.
- Create one small obstacle. Pick something hard you would normally skip today, do it, and keep it as proof for the next real obstacle.
Listen to the episode
The Obstacle Is The Way with Eliot Marshall
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Read the full transcript
First question, tell me one thing you do to create your best year ever.
I literally don't care about the opinions of others. I'm solely focused on me. And that starts from the beginning, from the second I get out of bed. Like I start taking care of me. And once I do that, I just know that the rest of how I have my life set up with what I do throughout the day, I'll do plenty of the altruism stuff, you know? So I start with Eliot in the morning. I meditate. I wake up. I pray in my own way, you know, like that I like to call praying. And then I just start going through the day. I spend time with my kids, get them to school. And after that, it just takes care of itself, Rob.
Absolutely love this because what you and I both know, Eliot, is this is a one-of-one journey. And it's so easy for everybody to prioritize work ahead of your personal growth and development in who you are. But a crazy thing happens. Work just keeps on adding more and more on your plate. And if you never find time to invest in yourself, the number one asset, this is the thing that when you understand this, which a lot of this podcast is about.
And welcome to Best Year Ever, a podcast designed to inspire growth and impact so you can create your best year ever. And I'm so excited about this conversation we're about to have because this is one of the most electric connections I have ever made with someone that I had never talked to before I talked to him the first time. And joining me is Eliot Marshall, former UFC fighter. He's a father, a husband, a Traeger grill owner, a business owner, a podcaster, a motivational speaker, a lot of multi-hyphenates. Eliot, welcome to the show.
Rob, it's so crazy. Thanks for having me. I think we didn't even know how aligned we are, right? Until we keep seeing what each other's posting on Instagram. And I'm like, dude, you got to be kidding me. That's your thing? That's my thing. So yeah, it's been a really crazy month between the two of us.
It has been. And I would like to congratulate everybody who is listening and watching right now because what you're about to get is a masterclass in wisdom, mindset, self-improvement, and everything in between.
And Eliot, the number one thing that I want to talk about first is actually something I saw you speaking about to a class of students about a tattoo that you have. And it said, the impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. And this is a passage from Ryan Holiday's book, The Obstacle Is the Way. And actually, it's from Stoic philosophy from, I'm sure it's like Marcus Aurelius or someone. But I first learned about it in Ryan Holiday's book, The Obstacle Is the Way.
And this was so impactful for you that you tattooed this on your arm. And for me, I carry that phrase around on a necklace for myself. So all of a sudden, ding, ding, ding, light bulbs are going off. Super impactful for Eliot. Super impactful for Rob. So let's unpack this on why it is such a powerful statement and mantra that we both live by. So let's start with you. Why is the impediment to action advances action, what stands in the way becomes the way, so important for you?
Well, it does a couple of things for me. One, I had a great struggle in 2016. After, excuse me, after my UFC career had ended and after I already become successful at with the schools. So my life was really great. And then I had this massive, what I like to call mental breakdown slash spiritual awakening. And what I found was Stoic philosophy to really help me with that. And where I started with that was Ryan Holiday's book, The Obstacle Is the Way. Just what it says. The obstacle is the way.
So rather than thinking about success so much, thinking about like, okay, I need to make it. Or, oh, I have made it. What if I lose it? Right? Which is almost a lot of people's fear. And it actually ended up coming true for my company during COVID. Right? Like, we're looking at something that no one has ever dealt with before. What are you going to do? Well, the obstacle is the way. Right? So once you truly embrace this concept, you can no longer become a victim. Like, that is impossible.
You can... And I'm not saying that we're not victims. So please, like... Yes, of course, in a moment, you can be a victim. But what the fuck are you going to... Can I curse?
Yeah.
Sorry. Okay. What are you going to do with being a victim? Like, where does that get you? So I'm no longer a victim. Nothing happens to me. Everything happens for me. And what can you do to me? If you present me an obstacle, well, thank you very much. Thank you so much. If you're trying to crush me and bring me down by putting obstacles in my way, you're literally just making me stronger. You're literally making me a better human, a better father, a better husband, a better business owner, a better teacher. You're literally just handing me all of this opportunity. So, thanks.
All right. So I think we need to dive deeper because there is a framework that I use to self-audit myself. And I've talked about this multiple times. Know, K-N-O-W, believe, live. What do I know to be true? What do I believe to be true? And what am I living? And everything that you just said, boom. Now, I now know it. I now believe it. But I think there's going to be a large majority of people that say, wait a second. So now you are thankful for the opportunities and obstacles in your life. And I think it's a very easy thing to hear others say, but not live it on your own.
And I'll look at my journey on what the light bulb moment was for this. And I left my corporate job. And this is more than a decade ago. I left my corporate job of digital advertising sales to go all out of my dreams of being a full-time creator. I went to zero. And I saw the success rates or lack thereof of entrepreneurship and small businesses. And the number one thing that got people to give up was they actually gave up. So if you quit, your dreams no longer happen. Therefore, I saw my dreams and my ability to accomplish them on the other side of me being someone who never quits or gives up in the face of adversity or obstacles.
So therefore, I became someone who specialized in overcoming adversity and even designing challenges for myself. It's one of my favorite mantras is prepare for what's difficult when it's easy. And I read Ryan Holiday's book and he says, don't focus or focus on the moment, not the monsters that may or may not lie ahead. And when you start to unpack the wisdom that's within that book, you start to understand the story that we tell ourselves about what's happening in this moment.
And Stoic philosophy likes to make it very pragmatic to where we take the emotion out of it. And when you can spin on its head, the thing that should be stopping you. And as Ryan says in the book, you find a way over, under, through, or around that. All of a sudden, you're on a new frequency for the way that you're thinking. And you might not have the answer, but you're at least not thinking about how you're giving up because you're thinking about what the new answer could be for how to overcome the obstacle.
I like to take it to extremes, you know? Like, so what's the extreme obstacle? The extreme obstacle is death, right? So when you look at it, Rob, what's the only thing in your whole life that you have never failed at? You've never failed at this. Waking up every single morning. Getting through your very worst day. We've all had really bad days. Multiple if you're old enough, you know? You're amazing at it. Have you ever been a bad spouse before? Of course, right? Of course you have. A bad dad, which we feel terrible. Yes. A bad son. A bad business. All of it.
You've failed at all of it except making it through your worst day. So therefore, you're really good at overcoming that difficult obstacle of bad days. So just keep marching from there. Just look at that fact. And a lot of times, we like to look at all these things that we've failed at. And I just, you know, and what I talk to these kids about was I just like to let the world know where I'm not the best. Like what some of my shortcomings are.
I can experience, and I have my entire life really intense and acute anxiety. And I don't try to hide that. I let you know it. I can feel insecure about things. I don't try to hide that. I let you know it. And I just, and I can be a little bullish sometimes when my insecurity is high. You know? Or my anxiety is high. I just let you know it. We all have drawbacks about ourselves. We all have weaknesses and things that we like to work on for ourselves. Okay. Great. Good for us. Work on them. Admit them. Show them. Let people see them. Because I've been using this analogy lately. Have you seen the movie 8 Mile?
Of course.
Okay. So, the movie 8 Mile. What happens? Eminem's trying to rap, right? And he's doing these rap battles, and he throws up, and he chokes, and he can't do it. He gets booed off stage. Everyone laughs at him. His high school homie is sleeping with his mom. That sucks. They live in a trailer park. That sucks. His car breaks down. That sucks. He meets a really great girl. That he starts to love. He goes, oh, well, amazing. Oh, nope. His buddy sleeps with his chick. You know? So, he's all of this shit that's happening. And then, he enters one final rap battle in the movie. You know? And he makes it to the final.
And his buddy goes, you're about to rap Papa Doc. He's going to say all this shit about you. What are you going to do? And Eminem has this epiphany. He goes, oh, wait a minute. I go first. And I rap about all the things that he's going to make fun of me for. And then I ask him, what you got now? And Papa Doc had nothing. So, all of these things that seem to be obstacles for Eminem. Right? It's just the quote.
How is Eminem going to overcome these obstacles of what Papa Doc was going to say about him? Well, he just stepped right into the obstacle. He just gave. He just admitted all of the obstacles that, oh, true. And he rapped about it. What do you have now? And Papa Doc has nothing. He chokes. And he walks off the stage. And Eminem wins. Right? The obstacle is the way.
Eliot, and what I love about this is I've used that same analogy so many different times. Specifically that one there. And even last week, I created a podcast on loving creating imperfect content. So much so that you can create imperfect content on purpose. To where the thing that is the flaw you're actually doing intentionally. And it can grow you and make it more powerful.
And what I really want to hammer home here for everyone is this is really a perspective and lens that both Eliot and I and so many other high performers in the world choose to show up with. Every single day. But certainly our lens for how we see adversity and create with it. Because that's the thing is so many people see adversity as only a negative lens. But when you understand that everything in life happens for me.
And Nick Saban has a great quote of never waste a failure. And what it essentially says to me in the Alabama team is no matter what happens in life, when you fail or what you think is a failure, there's an opportunity to pick yourself back up and learn from it. And of course, Eliot, both of us know this and certainly in different ways. In the world of entrepreneurship, boom. We literally signed up for nonstop obstacles and adversity and challenges. And you know what is an absolute...
We signed up for blowing it. That's what we signed up for. We signed up for massively blowing it. And getting... And like... I don't know if you put it in baseball terms. Batting like 10%. You know? Like, oh, great. Oh, I failed. Oh, I... It just starts to not fuck with you. You're just so used to it. That you're just like, yeah, whatever. You know that it's... It's just... It's the journey. And every once in a while, you just keep journeying ahead a little bit. You know? And that's all it is. And if you can do that, fuck it. Let's go.
And you know... My question comes with all of it. When... And you said something earlier. What do you know? There's only six things that I know. Okay? There's only six real things that I really, really, really know. One, I'm a father. Two, I'm a husband. Three, I'm a teacher. Four, I'm a student. Five, I'm a fighter. And six, I'm a survivor. But these are the only things that I know. And it's the only thing that I care about. Because it's always true. You can never make one of those untrue until I die. When I die, I won't be a survivor anymore. I'll be dead. But who cares at that point? Right?
So if I'm alive, those six things are always true. And you can't prove them wrong. Okay? Nobody can. Go ahead and try. I've tried to knock holes in this for a very long time. So what are you going to do to me? You can't take the thing, the ground that I stand on, you can't take it away. So okay, I'll just try again. I'll just try again. I have been successful at absolutely nothing that I've tried. Not a single thing that I've ever tried have I ever hit the goal. Not once.
A conversation between Rob Cressy and Eliot Marshall. Transcript cleaned up for reading.