How to Build a High Performing Team

What's good? It's Rob Cressy and I am 15 out of 10 excited for this conversation with Ken Crenshaw, Director of Sports Medicine and Performance with the Arizona Diamondbacks. He is also the author of a book that I highly recommend called Simple Hard, all around helping you build world class teams in the way that you communicate with it. Ken, great to have you on the show.

Yeah, thank you. That was quite the intro. I appreciate it.

Well, you've earned every step of this and I want to give a little framing of this and how in the world we actually got here because almost a year ago, you and I met at The Ultimate Experience in Arizona. You are one of the many keynote speakers there. And I've shared my journey of The Ultimate Experience. It is the most loving, miracle-filled, inspiring room in the entire world. It is also the most woo-woo thing you could possibly do in the best way possible.

And the words and the language and the people are just dripping with gold. And during lunch of one of those days, and I believe it was actually after you spoke, right behind me in line was Ankush Jain and on the other side of us was Seth Pepper. And one of the things unique about The Ultimate Experience for me is I ran a sports marketing agency for a decade. I never set out to become a coach, but I lived like one for more than a decade until I became one.

And when you get in an environment like this, sports is nowhere anywhere, right? So the year before I saw Seth and he's talking about sports and I'm like, oh my God, this is my guy. And then I see you and you've got this sports background. I'm like, oh my God, this is my guy. And then I sit at the lunch table with, I believe there was five of us there. And at the time Seth spoke into existence that he wanted to write a book. And then the preceding hour was all around speaking life and creation into Seth for creating this book, which is now in the process.

Yeah, that's exactly how I remember it. Okay. We had Steve Gilbert there, who's a writer for MLB. And then Rob, or let's see. It felt like somebody else walked up there too, but we had a pretty powerful table there going.

Yes. So after that, it might've been the week after I get a text message from you. And I don't remember if it was Eric Thurston that said, hey, Ken wants to reach out to you. Can I give him your number? Something along those ways, because at that point, all I've had is, call it, a one hour interaction with you. Loved everything that you said at The Ultimate Experience. And I was like, oh, of course. And you created this text chain between me, you, Seth, Ankush, and Steve, all in support of Seth writing it and creating his book.

And through that, we have had this consistent virtual relationship, all actually focused on Seth Pepper and the creation of his book. But in the process, you also published one of your books. So what we're going to do is talk about your book, Simple Hard. I highly recommend anybody read this. If you're a leader, if you're someone who runs a team, or quite frankly, if you're someone who's about this life of performance, being the best version of yourself, to me, this is a non-negotiable there. But that's how we got to where we are right now. Does that sound about right?

Absolutely. Yeah, that's exciting. I always love to work in the space of creation. Like, what can we create? And that moment that we all sat down there just clicked into my head. Hey, what can we create with this amazing group of people sitting there? And, you know, obviously Seth was such a special guy. And he was out to do something. I don't even think he knew what he was wanting to do. But that's why we kind of pushed him into that space of creating his own book. And then how I got to write a book is a whole other story, which maybe we could talk about. But I didn't have any intent at that moment to do that.

Well, that was the beautiful thing. So the seed for Seth. So I'll tell you what was going through my mind. I wanted to read the book that Seth hadn't written yet. Right? So I am a student of the game of personal growth and development and high performance and becoming the best version of yourself. I love creation. I love learning. And once Seth spoke on stage the year before, and then he did the next year, I was like, I would love to know more about your philosophies, your mindsets, the ways that you help the best be the best, because I'm someone who wants to be the best.

So like you said, once he opened that little door of creation, and you're just sitting there at the table, you can just choose to talk about whatever, or we can all deep dive and be like, yo, let's bring life into this thing right here. And this text chain between the five of us, to me, is an absolute blessing in my life. And I told you before this, there's some things that I'm going to say that you don't know of how you and Seth and Ankush and Steve have impacted me, because in my mind, I'm on this text chain with the best people in the world, because legitimately you guys are.

I'm inspired by you guys. I'm learning from the notes and the text messages and all of that stuff, which instantly raises my own standard just by proximity right there. And one of the things that I love is leading by example. And this is something that you guys do, and certainly in your book of leading by example and how that can lead a team and other people. I'm curious to hear from your perspective, what is your mindset about this text chain in this group of people that we have virtually?

Yeah, no, it's obviously a really powerful group. I knew Seth for a couple of years before that. And, you know, we've just shared so many different stories. And most of them, like you said, are around sports and how to the best become the best. And, you know, I think people look at professional athletes or the very best athletes and think they have it all together, and they actually don't. You know, they're still going through the normal, I think, limitations that any human has.

And so we've just been able to work with those spaces. And so I think that's the novelty of it. But the power in the actual text to me is when it's my whole essence and my purpose in life is how do I create these teams like groups of people? Because we're all, you know, out to have this connection. And, you know, one of the distinctions that I actually teach in my own team building experiences is there's more power in the team than there is in you.

And, you know, I just saw Seth and I felt the same way as you did. I was wanting to read a book that he hadn't even wrote yet. But it's like, hey, you got so many fantastic ideas. How do we get them all out of you? And I know from all my experience and years of professional sports and working with teams and developing teams and leaders and whatnot is that the power's in the team. And so the sheer essence of you sitting there, you complemented the team as I reflected on it later.

I'm like, wow, Rob actually brings something to that group of people that none of us have. And that's the ability to kind of network and kick it out there into these social media spaces and whatnot. Like, it's not my thing. I don't really do that. And Seth does it some. I think Ankush does it a little more. But then there was a power of another guy that was an MLB. You know, he writes, he's been writing his whole life. And that's what he does.

So I'm like, well, nothing better than have another guy that has an expertise in something that maybe you don't, or at least I didn't. And then Ankush, who I knew had wrote his own book. And, you know, so he had some trials. So it just was like this perfect team of people to help Seth get down the path and get his brilliant information out there. And I think we all have this space of getting paralyzed or limited by what we never question.

Like, is that really true? Because, like, I didn't have any thought that I could write a book because I'm not a writer. That's not, you know, you have a broken ankle or, you know, shoulder that hurts. I can help you for sure. I know how to do that. But writing is not my thing. So that's kind of the essence of what I always look for is how do you get a group of people? And it might only be two, but that group, you know, was bigger than that.

And then that just spurs the whole thing and all of us working off of each other to push, you know, the greatness that Seth has in him out there. And then, you know, who knows where it goes from there. And that inherently ends up here, me and you talking on a podcast.

Okay. So you said like, hey, how in the world did you get to write a book? But one of the things that stood out to me both about your speech at The Ultimate Experience and then the book is the power of language. And I'm curious about something because, and my clients know this, there is two phrases that if you say, you immediately have my attention. I am or I am not, right? So you spoke, I am not a writer, despite being the person who teaches the power of language.

And then you just published a book right there, which is completely, it's normal. But where I really learned this, where I struggled for the longest time with this in my life was, I am not a runner. Why? I've been athletic my entire life, but I never ran cross country and I didn't wear short shorts. And I had no brand that I felt a connection to for running. And you hear this so often with people, whether they want to do their first 5K or half marathon or marathon, I can't do that.

I'm not a runner, right? But that's an identity statement. And I'm curious from your perspective, what was the bridge that happened from the mental, I am not a writer? Because you can look and you're like, I have all of the evidence that I am not a writer, despite the fact that that's just a self-created reality.

Yeah. No, great question. And one that I work on a lot with the people that I work with and I share a lot. And it's, I think it's even in the book is that, you know, your language will create your world. So the fact that you picked up on that, that I said, I am not, because I think the two of the most powerful words there are on a planet is I am. Whatever comes after that is what you create. And so I think what I figured out is that there's a choice in the thought that you have.

And that is really powerful when you can realize, well, I have this negative thought or I am not a writer. And then I can flip that because I'm going to question that belief that I have in that moment. And that most people don't even do is question the beliefs that they have. And so those beliefs and those thoughts have created an identity of who they are. And I always say they're not even true, but you believe them. So I think that's the space that I start working in is how I help somebody else see their own greatness.

I just love doing that because I had a coach, you know, and when I was 15 years old, they saw the greatness in me that I couldn't see in myself. And I think that is leadership when you think about it. Like that's the most powerful tool you have is to see it in somebody else and actually help them see it. So I think that's the space that I've shifted to is like your words are going to create your world. And then how you shape those worlds and change those thoughts, because you have like an instant you can just flip them around.

And that's where I said I am not a writer. That was not my thing before. But, you know, now I am. So it's all in the power of choice, really. I think, you know, some people will label themselves as, well, I'm a procrastinator or I can't get it done or, you know, whatever language they come up with describing themselves. And it really is all in the space of just flipping that around and making it a choice of what you want to do. And then you've got to get into action. Once you step into action, the whole world changes.

One hundred percent. And where I learned this, that changed everything in my life. One of the coaches that I've worked with is John Patrick Morgan. And he taught me the concept of abracadabra. I create as I speak. Right. Your ability to speak things into existence one way or another. And when you quickly understand the power that you have with your words, your language holds your ability to do everything. And Ken, there is something that came top of mind for me when I was reading your book, Simple Hard, was around the team dynamic and more the, like, I'm seeing, all right, professional sports.

These are the best in the world. The best owners. The best GMs. The best coaches. The best players. These are the professionals at the highest level. And how is it possible that all of this is not instilled inside of every single organization? Because we know this is a cultural side of things, right? So, so often, this power of language, what you speak is what you create. And then this can create the culture and everything there. And I'm curious from your perspective, similar to the I am not a writer, there's a lot of teams that do not have a culture or this level of leadership in them. And why and how is that? Because I think the common belief or thought would be if you're operating like the best, then, of course, they're doing everything that the best would do.

Yeah, no, another great question. You know, you're asking really good questions today, Rob.

I pay attention.

And inherently, I think that's part of great leadership is asking good questions. But that question is really powerful because you would think that it would be that simple. But where I've figured out, that's why I wrote the book Simple Hard. I think a lot of things are simple, but we make them hard. We complicate them. And most of the times we complicate them with our thoughts. So, let's say a leader of a team. You know, we've got multiple levels of leadership in an organization.

It might be the owner, the president, or the GM, or coach, or whatever. So, I think what happens is somewhere in all of that, they don't align. They don't all get together and go, what is it that we're actually out to do? I call it a shared purpose. What is our shared purpose? Like, why are we here? And it took me a lot of years to even understand why I'm here on this earth, which I always look at as a really short dash.

So, I want to serve as many people and help as many people see their own greatness as I can while I'm here. But most people haven't even sifted down on what their own purpose is, much less what is a shared purpose of the organization that everybody will buy into. Because when you can get everyone to buy into the shared purpose, it becomes bigger than you. And I think the very best leaders or the best sellers, I guess, we're watching the baseball playoffs right now.

And unfortunately, we're not in it. We were one game short. But Pat Murphy, one of the managers or head coach for the Milwaukee Brewers, their team is just phenomenally good right now. They're just playing so well together. The players all talk about how we're playing for each other. Pat has just incredible stuff. He incidentally wrote one of the promotion things in the book. And he's a dear friend of mine. And he went to my first team building experience. And so, he's a very good motivator of getting people to buy in to that shared purpose.

And then when you have a shared purpose, I think part of that is you have to create, well, what are our values and our standards? What are the things that we stand for and that we are going to do no matter what? And then after that, there becomes this shared, I call it like ownership. Like we all own this thing now. It's not the boss said or the head coach said or somebody else said, hey, you need to follow these rules.

And said, no, I really like what we're about. And that's a hard place to take people because most people are really about themselves. And I've just figured out in life is like there's no connection. There's no freedom. There's no joy. There's no peace. And just trying to do it alone. Like it's when you do it together. And I've been around sports, you know, baseball for 38 years. And been lucky to have been a part of a world championship team and a couple teams that came close.

And I saw in those teams that connectedness and that unity. It's so powerful. And it's hard to explain to somebody that's never experienced it. But I think that's when you can create that shared ownership. And then there's another piece to my pillars that's shared leadership. Meaning that there's not a leader we're all waiting to hear from. Everybody's a leader. We're all leading each other. We're influencing each other, which is what leadership is. And then that creates your identity, your team identity.

And that is really powerful when your identity is shaped around serving each other. Then you have a really powerful team. Now, as simple as I just explained that, it's really hard. It's really hard to get that alignment and that buy-in and then step into the action. And I've been a part of it. There's years that I've really had some good influence with our head coach, manager, GM. And then there's times that we have to revisit it. That's the part that's hard.

It's like, well, we'll say all these things that we stand for. And then we live them for a minute. And then we just quit doing it. And we don't revisit them. And I think that's what you really have to do. It's simple, but it's really hard. And it's just fundamental stuff done over and over and over again that really creates greatness in a team or an organization.

Yeah, there's a book that changed my life called The Power of Consistency by Weldon Long. And what he said is, you know why most people don't achieve their dreams? They just don't spend enough time on them. So the average person might look at their goals or write them down once a year. January 1st, boom, new year, new me, wrote down my goals. The best in the world, at minimum, we look at our goals once a day. And once I understood that, a lot of the language that comes out with me with my clients, drip, drip, drip, stack ones over zeros, no zero days mentality.

Because the consistency is what creates the standard. And Ken, one of the things I wrote down for you are in this was your standards are what you do when no one is watching. That's why this can feel hard, right? Because I live this every single day because even despite being about this life. So for 16 years in a row, I've been all in as an entrepreneur, went from no growth, not no growth mindset, no self-awareness, no habits, no routines to turning myself into the complete opposite of that.

And it can be very easy to think that, oh, well, that's just easy. That's just what Rob does and how he does it. You know what's hard 100% of the time? Waking up at five in the morning. You know what's hard 100% of the time? Getting into a cold plunge, doing the workout when I don't want to do it, right? But every morning is the new start of the best version of myself. So we create these habits and these routines and these mindsets to create yourself into the best version of yourself.

So I can see where it's easy to allow standards to creep because the way that you talk to yourself, maybe you are in a slump batting or if you're a football player, you're not getting the ball thrown to you. And now you're not performing at the level that you would want. So the narrative of the story in your mind is changing. And what you talk about is what you're going to create inside of your own life versus the system scale, right?

So there's a reason why we build consistency in what we're doing. One of the things that I started watching this week, which I highly recommend is the documentary Saban about Nick Saban on ESPN. I love learning from the best in coaches. And one of the things that stood out from what I watched yesterday and I'm behind, it's been out for a little bit was he was talking about when he got hired at LSU and the culture that he was building. And one of the things he said was, I already had this inside of me.

I had to get this inside of everybody else. So it wasn't a him problem, but the rest of the organization and culture had not caught up to where he was for the standards that he created. And then they fast forward to showing this in Alabama when he hit 15 out of 15 for the best recruits in Alabama, the Julio Joneses of the world. And he talked about the buy-in and the culture and the year prior, they played Florida in the SEC championship, had a fourth quarter lead.

And then Tim Tebow came back and beat them. The following year, they created essentially a mentality all around the fourth quarter to where every day they did something just grueling to drill in the mindset, the culture, the performance of that fourth quarter. And all the players are coming on the screen talking about their experiences. They're throwing up. They're getting pushed to their absolute limit. And Julio Jones is like, this is what created us as a team. This shared adversity in this culture, because this is the standard of how we do it. And for me, when you can hold your language to this standard, man, everything is possible.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, Rob, man, I love what you just said there. And I want to revert back to consistency. And I heard this somewhere. Compounding interest is maybe the eighth wonder of the world. I don't know. Seventh, eighth wonder. Don't hold me to that. But I heard that saying once in compounding interest, you know, it was down the financial world. But compounding consistency is really like a wonder in the world. It's something that I've grown up, you know, learned when I was younger is if you just stack day upon day, it's one brick at a time.

And then things will blow up for you. But then not till later on. Sometimes you have to build that foundation and that base. So I love what you said there. And I love the Saban thing, too. I watched it. But I want to take you back one step. If you listen to it, maybe go watch it again. There was a moment when he was he was with Michigan State and he called himself a transactional coach, not a transformational coach, which he shifted into.

And transactional meaning that everything he did was around himself. Like, how do I get the accolades or the whatever for me? And he he had a guy psychiatrist. I forgot his name at Michigan State. He met with and the guy broke it down to him and said, look, you know, none of this is about you, which is one of the things that I love to say. None of this is about me. I'm here to like love and serve and share with others.

That's why I hope people read the book because the book's about them. Um, and what I I heard him say, which was most powerful because it dovetails right into this compounding consistency thought that I have. He said he helped Saban see that that every play was about six seconds in football. And so he started showing Saban that if you could break it down into these simple pieces, which is simple, hard, um, you, you can just win every six seconds. You win that six seconds.

And if you don't, you move to the next second, six seconds that the game becomes easy. And if you, if you listen to Saban, that is his whole philosophy is break it down in these simple chunks and then we can win them. And it, it goes hand in hand with compounding consistency. And honestly, the book, that's what I write about. Cause I learned that from a high school coach. The same guy named Ron Becker was my high school basketball coach. And he had a system.

Cause I always think about good organizations are a combination of really good people and really good systems that are connected. And so if your system is reproducible, teachable, and we can duplicate it over and over, then, then it will work well. If you have a really, uh, complicated, sophisticated system, way higher chance of it breaking down. So the, the simple things that he's teaching basketball, shoot, pass, catch, dribble, and play defense. And, and it sounded like when I started coaching with him after I played for him, I really like got it.

I was like, I just want to play from trying to do what he said. But when I started coaching with him, I got why he was doing it. And the system was so simple and it was really based upon, give me your best effort in these little five simple things. And so I started coaching in inherently after that coach for about 20, actually coached last year, coached the high school girls team. And I still ran some of the same system and it still works.

It's like, do the simple things really well. And Kobe Bryant had a, had a, uh, uh, piece one time. I don't know if you've ever seen it, but he just talked about somebody asked him why he, you know, he was so good. And he said, or they said, why are you the greatest player in the planet at that point in time? And he said, cause I'm okay doing the simple, fundamental, boring stuff more than anyone else. And he would do these simple, basic moves.

And, and I never was with him, but I had a friend that, um, worked with him. And he just said he was so relentless at these simple things that other players weren't willing to do. And I think I carry that same mentality because we were always looking for something that's complicated, sophisticated, and it's not, it's all in the simple details and the, and the action behind those.

Yeah. Cause simple scales. So I'm looking at my notes from The Ultimate Experience. And one of the things you said is upgrade your thinking and systems don't drive around with your parking brake on because of your thinking. And one of the things in my own world is I legitimately show up this way in all areas of my life. I radiate this positivity, this energy. And in the early part of my coaching, when I was doing a lot more personal development and high performance coaching, as opposed to the AI right now, one of the concepts that I created was my podcast was called best year ever.

And it was a very simple concept of, this is about best year ever as a mindset, a lifestyle in a way of being, because you can't do anything about the past and you can't control your future, but you can live on a moment to moment basis because your best year ever is your best month ever, best week ever, best day ever, best hour ever, best moment ever. And when you understand that the concept of creating your best year ever is actually just living on a moment to moment basis, you understand that you are always in control of the way that you show up to anything.

And this speaks to the awareness that you're talking about there, because once that clicks for you where, um, and this is just self-awareness 101, but it's also self-awareness on the mastery level. When you can take the page of Nick Saban, six seconds, six seconds, six seconds, or your own life of, it doesn't mean that, um, every moment I have to be playing naked laser tag. This is more about the perspective of in this moment, I have the control to create the best decision for what I want to do and be in creating my life.

And that speaks to upgrade your thinking and systems. And Ken, I even share this with you when I will lightly drip things around AI for you guys, because I feel a responsibility to share it and pay it forward. And the thing that I see that very few other people see is that it is all around what you shared upgrade your thinking and systems success with AI has nothing to do with a technical background. It's all around your approach to all of this.

And this applies to every single aspect of your life. AI is just like a Tuesday for me as an entrepreneur. And I'm sure the same for you. There's good, there's bad, there's challenges, there's hard, there's things that I see, there's things that I don't see. So when all of a sudden there's a new world to play with, it's like, Oh, well, I want to show up as the best version of myself. What would I love to create? What do I want to speak into existence?

What are my systems, my processes and my standards for how I'm doing this, which ultimately goes to everything you need to be great is already inside of you. And when the people I work with can see it, it's like you become Neo in the Matrix where you're like, Oh my God, he's like, I can learn Kung Fu. And it's, I loved what you said about that at The Ultimate Experience because it's simple, but hard, right? Because it's easy to not do. And I think that goes to the, what you were saying of the, why does a team not do this? Because it's actually easier to not do it because you, you get to be more aware and more intentional as opposed to the opposite.

Yeah. No, I mean, you, you said a lot there and I, I love it all. I mean, I just love the way you synthesize things and you know, I, I really, uh, I really think you can simplify things and it's all in your thinking. You know, it's like nothing's neither good nor bad. Only thinking made it so, um, I want to credit somebody, but I can't remember. Um, anyway, that sticks in my mind is like, we complicate things and you hit it on the head.

It's like most people that I experienced that I'm, I'm helping try to, you know, let them see their limitations are, I, that's why I call them. Most people drive around with their parking brake on in their car. I don't even know if they have parking brakes and cars anymore. I think they do, but like, like back in the old days, you'd pull the stick up over by the side and it's like, Hey, do you realize that your car's not going efficiently?

Cause you got the parking brake on there. And then the other analogy that I love in the car is most people are looking in the rear view mirror and they're, they're, they're reacting or they're making a decision based upon the past, which is not going to be effective. You know, like, like you have to make a decision or a choice based in the moment you said it. And if you are going to create something, don't create it from the past, create it from the future.

Like, what do I want to create in the future? Who do I, um, you said something a while ago, like I always think about, I love your energy and I love who you are and you know, what you're out to do. And, you know, I think about this, like who or, or what energy am I bringing to the room or to the team? Like we all have to be responsible for that because you can't expect the everybody else to be dragging you around all the time.

So what is the energy you bring to the team? And that's why I love our little text thing. It's, it's just so cool to see somebody chime in. Hey, I thought this, or I thought that, or come on, Seth, I wrote a book before you. And to me, that's the energy of a team and the connection that, that every human is really out to get, you know, we all, we're all very tribal and, and we want to be connected and, and loved and protected in this tribal space.

Even though we, you know, most of us want to say, oh, I'm a lone warrior, but it just, the world won't work for you, you know, as well as if you're connected with other people and you can actually see where your own limitations are. And most of them are all just in thought and you have a choice in those.

Yeah. There's the quote, uh, might be Mark Twain. Most of the fears that you have never come true. Right.

Yeah, exactly.

And there's actually two quotes that I want to share to pay it forward that really impacted my life around fear. And the first one came from Jamie Foxx who said, you know, it's on the other side of fear, nothing. And then the second one came from Steve Harvey. I believe he was talking to Oprah and he said, your dreams have to be bigger than the fear. Right. So I collect these things as the way that I tell myself this stuff because, oh, nice, easy segue here.

So Ken, here's something that you impacted my life in and will continue to for the next three years. And it is two words, Titanic listening. So in the creation of my 2029 vivid vision, which I sent to the group, um, this is my goals, my dreams, the things that I'm speaking into existence, the best version, the biggest version of myself for myself, my wife, my son, me as an entrepreneur, the way that I feel, uh, the way that I show up for my wellbeing there.

So I'm very intentional about this. It took me about three months to put this thing together. Uh, anybody who wants to see my vivid vision, just shoot me a DM at Rob Cressy on all social media platforms. I'll send it over to you. So knowing that I'm going to do the power of consistency, I'm going to read this document at minimum once a day, first thing in the morning, sometimes twice a day at the other end. So when curating, what's that drip?

What's that drip? What's that drip? I went through all of my notes of just the best things that I've learned. And of course I went to The Ultimate Experience, both the two years ago and then this year's version. And the Titanic listening stood out to me because listening is probably the least sexy thing that you can possibly talk about. And at the same time I attribute, if I, in, in the book relentless by Tim Grover, he says, everything's labeled number one.

Cause it's all most important. One of those number ones in being a world-class coach is the way that you listen, because what you speak into existence to me is what I hear, what I hear. We're going to go co-create. So the way that you said, I'm not a writer, that's because I've got tech, uh, Titanic listening, but it's the way that you framed that right. Uh, abracadabra I create, as I speak, there's listening and then there's Titanic listening. Can you explain what Titanic listening is? Because it resonated with me so much. Cause there's levels to this game, even listening.

Yeah. Well, thanks for bringing that up. You know, you always wonder what you say and what has an impact. And I've had several people tell me that it's one of the things I teach in my team building experience. And yeah, it's, you know, I have a saying like, what is your listening costing you? Cause it could cost your relationship. It could cost you a job. It could cost you, uh, you know, just the freedom and peace to be able to help somebody else.

And to your point, I mean, your, your listening was really tuned when you, you heard that I am not a writer that I thought that was really powerful. And, and really, you know, whoever is right in front of you, if you're not with them and listening, you can't create anything for them. The only creation is for you. And so I love the way you, you kind of laid that out. So Titanic listening was something that I kind of created my own.

Um, you know, I was reading a story about the Titanic and, and how it sank. And, uh, when you look at the story, the captain was alerted. I think it was seven to nine times that, Hey, there's potential iceberg up ahead here. Uh, you might want to be aware. And he didn't hear any of them, or if he didn't hear them, he didn't listen to, to really, cause some people will hear, but they won't actually listen to what is being said.

And, you know, it went on to kill the thousands of people that were onto the boat. And I just thought about that. And, and, uh, I have a friend who teaches a course called a game changer, personal development coach. He's a fantastic guy. He's actually one of my coaches. And, uh, he always says, uh, he, he calls it pilot listening, you know, um, or airline stewardess comes on and they say, buckle your things up or whatever. And, you know, you kind of, you've heard this a thousand times, so I don't really need to hear it already.

So it's like, you have this predetermined listening to most of life. Like, uh, I know what, I know what the airline stewardess is going to say. Now, if the pilot pops on and he says, Hey, look, you know, um, I want everybody to buckle up because the left engine went out. Everybody's listening at a totally different space. So when I thought about that concept that I learned from him and I was reading about the Titanic, I just thought, wow. Like if everybody could get that, the listening that, um, uh, the, the boat captain didn't have things would change for us because it's really like, when you think about communication and leadership, it's not always in what you say.

It's just how you listen. When you, when you have a friend, she always says, when you listen, somebody, well, they will have a different space for you. And then you'll be able to help them more efficiently when you really hear the words that they're saying. And a lot of times the, the, the information in between the words is just as important as the words, the way they're saying in the space, the, you know, the, the stall that they may have in between their own words.

And it's, it's like body language. And, you know, we communicate in more than just word, we communicate in body language and frequencies and things like that. And, and I think that's really important when you can really just sit with somebody and be there and not be thinking about what you're going to say. Cause that's, that's generally what we want to do is let me, I'm already thinking about what I want to say to this person in return. So therefore, if I get in my own head midway through the conversation and not just in full complete Titanic listening, I can't help them or I can't, you know, really show them maybe a different space than the one they're in.

So that's why I kind of created, it's the first thing I open up with my, in my team building experiences. And there's a moment of silence right before that, because I think, you know, I don't know if you picked up on this, but one of the things I always share is that most people are not good with uncertainty or the unknown, which is really unconnected with other people. Like if I just start any kind of presentation or my team building experiences, I generally start with about a minute of just silence and man, that makes people uncomfortable.

You know, they're just like, wait, wait, what's he, what's he going to say? What else is he going to do? And it's really just letting them get with themselves and see that it's okay. Like life is uncertain. I have a dear friend who used to work with me for years. And he always says that people are most fearful of uncertainty. And I thought that was interesting that you brought it up because there's fear on one side. And the way I've sifted it down is there's love or faith on the other side.

And so I can either do this out of fear of what might go wrong, or I could just do this because I love it. And I think that's the shift that I try to take most people to is like, what, what, what is the fear around? And it's really fears just around uncertainty when you listen to somebody like the unknown, what's going to happen. And you said it a while ago, most of the time, nothing comes out the way you're thinking about anyway.

So, so let's, let's just be okay with uncertainty and realize that life is uncertain. We don't know what's going to happen later on today, but if we can be okay with that and then play in the space of love and faith that things are going to work out and understanding that, you know, the other one that I think people don't get is that we're perfect, whole and complete as is. And then we layer on all these thoughts that make us not good enough.

So in the book, there's a chapter about, I call it not enoughness. Like I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not, you know, all this enoughness and none of it's true. And that's the number one thing that I have candidly struggled with or worked on myself is my own awareness of my own not enoughness.

I want to share one little tip and then we'll get out on one last point is when it comes to Titanic listening, there's something that everybody can do today to work on this. So I'm a world-class communicator. So I'm living in Chicago and it's five years ago and I'm walking to go get Starbucks and the barista goes, oh, what's your name? And I say, uh, Rob. And then I move on and I sat there for a second. I was like, I know my name, but why did I, uh, right?

Why was I not comfortable? Right? So a hundred times out of a hundred, I know she's going to ask my name yet. In being a more eloquent, better speaker, I was not subconsciously comfortable in allowing the silence. So we all do this, uh, Rob, uh, Ken. So here's the exercise. The next time, and you can consistently do this, it's how you work on communication and listening in real time. A hundred times out of a hundred, when I go to get coffee, what is your name?

And this is how you do the Titanic listening. You pause for an extra half beat. That's it. This isn't 10 minutes. What's your name? My name is Rob. And right. So simple, right? But it's super hard because it is so easy to fill in the silence. Uh, you just make these noises. So now you can look around everyday life in which you are in an interaction with, uh, somebody serving you food, someone giving you a drink. You're in Home Depot and someone does it.

And they ask you a thing. I want you all to have an awareness of, do you vocalize a noise or do you take that extra beat of awareness? Cause you said that, Ken, we're just so quick to say what we're going to say, which is why I just say a bunch of noises. And I'm like, well, that's dumb because I'm actually thinking about the version of me. Who's a speaker, right? I'm on stage. I want to be clean. I want to be polished.

I want to bring this level of energy and care to everything that I do. And it's something that's like, well, how in the world do you work on being a world-class communicator by not putting in other words and phrases and instead let the silence be there. Give yourself the extra beat. And then every single time, my name is Rob. So try that on for size. And Ken, I want to get you out on this. Oh, go ahead.

Well, hold on, Rob. That was such a great point because I had a guy, a retired Navy SEAL. And he used to come in and he still does occasionally. We'll come in and he teaches our sports medicine performance team communication. And he would take your phone and he would just put it on record and then he would record you. And then he would have all these little drills and he might pull up like a fortune cookie out and then you'd read it.

And it's kind of improv and you're like, you had to make up a story on it. And then every time you would say that he called them filler words, ums, ahs, he had a little tin can in the back and he would drop a, like a penny in it. And it, you could hear it. It was so powerful because it was, it made me realize that more about uncertainty than ever. It's like, we are not good with that. And so we, we add those words in and to your point, you hit the, probably the biggest word ever is awareness.

And how you create awareness is what he was doing, creating that awareness because, or you looked at your video on that phone and you would just see like, wow, I don't even, I'm not even coming out. Like I think I'm coming out. And I think those are such powerful messages and things. When you, when you really get the concept of a team, your teammates will help you see the things that you can't even see in yourself. The blind spots, the, the ums, the ahs.

And I think that's why you should surround your team. You're going to be on multiple teams, you know, your family team, your, your organization team, your whatever other teams. But you got to surround yourself with really, um, high level teammates at some point, like pick good people that will challenge you and help with your awareness. And what you said about awareness is really, really like the ultimate. And I always, I always have this thought, how do I teach awareness? I mean, and it is one of the hardest things when you think about it, but if you surround yourself with incredible people and incredible team, then that becomes way easier. So I appreciate what you said right there. Thank you.

So here's what we're going to get you out on. It's the last thing. And of course I've got a list. I could do this for 10 hours with you of all the things that you've said that I took all the notes on, but the one in which I have never heard this before. And it just resonated with me so much from The Ultimate Experience. You said Santa Claus 365, giving my gifts and service to others, 365 days a year and acknowledging the greatness in someone else.

When you said that, I just like abracadabra. I created as I speak. I just grabbed that right there because I loved it. Because I teach this to my clients. There's three things that you can do to create anything you want in your life. Number one, the power of intention. Number two, the power of awareness. And number three, the power of consistency. Right? So that's a little combination of Wayne Dyer plus Weldon Long. So when I heard Santa Claus 365, giving my gifts and services to others, 365 days a year, I heard live the intention, right?

I would acknowledge the greatness in somebody else. So then you have the awareness of it. All right. Well, how in the world am I showing up or being aware of it? So Ken, when you're like, it's hard to teach awareness. What starts with the intention of what you would love to create. If you want to create something, well, if I just put Santa Claus 365 on my desk, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip. Now I see it, right? Just like your dreams.

And then once you see it more often, you create this consistency. But man, we understand that Santa Claus just gives and gives and gives. But then you wrapped the bow on this with acknowledging the greatness in someone else. And I wanted to give that gift to you right now. Because man, the way that you acknowledge other people and the way that you show up in your book and your talks and just who you are as a person, man, it inspires me. And I just had to make sure to bring this here because it is such a simple concept, just absolutely bathed in gold.

Yeah, thanks for acknowledging that. I have a saying. It's in the book and I teach it a lot. Acknowledgements are free. And we don't realize that. It's like the lady asks you what your name was and you're like, you know, you're catching your speech part of it. You know, my name's Rob. But what would be more powerful is, well, what's your name? You know, you have whatever, pretty hair or whatever. Acknowledgements are free and we just don't give them away. They don't cost us anything but our words.

And so what I figured out about life is that, you know, what we walk into this earth is it's all about us and that we got to do what we got to do to survive and I'll get whatever it is we want to get. And as I've gotten older, I've realized like none of that's actually true. It's like when you give away things, when you give, you know, the acknowledgement of somebody's own greatness, you actually get the gift in return. So I was thinking about, I'm like, wow, this is almost like being Santa Claus.

You know, the kids love Santa Claus because he's giving away gifts. And but, you know, I had to step back and go, what does Santa Claus get out of this? And it's just the joy and freedom to see somebody else actually get what they're intended this earth for, in my opinion. It's like that is such a serving place. It doesn't make sense to your ego because you're so about you that you can't get out of you. This sounds weird. To get out of you actually gets you back into you.

So if I can get out of me and see the greatness of someone else, help them, you know, maybe acknowledge them, maybe challenge them. Like like there's a I just say love. I just love to love and serve people. I've simplified it down to those two things. If I can do that, then then all of the whatever need that I have comes back at me. And most time people think you're you're BSing them because so few people walk the earth like that.

They're like, hey, Devin always says, what's the loaded gift you're giving me? They think, oh, he acknowledges. What do you want? Right. That's kind of human nature. But in my world, I'm like, I don't want anything. I just want you to be your best. And that's so uncommon that it scares people. But I'm like, that's the gift back to me. And, you know, I think if more people could really get that and it takes awareness and practice, then, you know, our whole world would change. And that's kind of the intent that I have.

All right. And we'll end on this. So what is the practice? So I legitimately live this way. I can't walk on earth and not be radiating something to someone because best year ever. Right. She's got this moment right here. So when you go to I love this in the grocery store because, you know, with 100 percent certainty, there is going to be a male or female who checks you out that is somewhere between 18 years old and 60 years old. And they would want you to just it's just a regular person right there.

And for me, I know no one is going to give that person a compliment. And sometimes you look there. So I'll look at their earrings, their watch, their necklace, their name tag, their hair. There's something. This also works when you're flying somewhere because there's the person who just checks your little car. Boop, boop, boop, boop. Right. They're just going through everyday life. Right. So part of working on awareness is being aware of the moments. And then you quickly realize the moments are all around you if you want to show up this way.

And what I've learned from this is one, there's going to be the people who are like, no one ever does this. Thank you for that. But number two, it's just a drip of positivity in the world because there's a 10 to one negativity to positivity ratio in the world. So every one time you and I do this, we're counterbalancing 10 times the amount of negativity in the world. And sometimes this simple thing is really hard. I'm looking around. There's nothing here.

There's nothing there. And you work on your ability to have the awareness to recognize something special in someone. And sometimes you just might create something of, hey, I really appreciate the way that you dot, dot, dot. And you do this this way. And when you can walk around with this awareness, you quickly realize this is always accessible for you. And why would I ever hold this to me? Because at some point, someone gave me a compliment along the way. And you don't know when someone actually needed that.

And I'm just cool with depositing in my bank of life these little compliments at Home Depot, at the grocery store, and at the airport. And it is so simple, right? So whether it's what's your name? My name is Rob. Or, man, I just really love that your earrings that look so good on you, right? These little, little moments in life. But Ken, we know this. These ones stack up to big. You do it one day. You do it one week. You do it one month. And in my case, you do it for 16 years in a row. And you just might create something great.

Yeah. Well said. I couldn't have said it better myself. I just think that's so powerful. And it's free. It costs us nothing but a little bit of thought that's outside of our own, you know, thoughts in our own self in the moment. If you can just get out of your, that's why I say you get out of yourself, but it actually gives back to you.

So, Ken, today you are Santa Claus 365 for me, for everybody listening and watching.

A conversation between Rob Cressy and Ken Crenshaw. Transcript cleaned up for reading.